We Are Clumps Of Clay

A potter sculpts his vase and places it in the furnace to harden. He takes it out and discovers it is flawed, so he either shatters it or discards it all together. You see, this is not how God does it. As the Perfect Master Potter, He sculpts and molds us into what He has intended for us to be. He makes no mistakes so you were made the way He decided, which is as the Psalmist writes in Psalms 139, “Fearfully and wonderfully made”. We tend to blame God for things when it is us who damages the vase He made. We put things in it, fill’s it with things He never intended us to fill it with. We chip it, crack it, fade it, and when we finally hit the bottom, we break. But unlike the earthly potter, God takes those pieces and place’s them back to where they were originally designed to be in, except this time, there is a different look to it. There is something that wasn’t there before. He begins His work. He sculpts, molds, and then He says, “There. There is my SON”. We are new. We are clothed in Christ and His righteousness. See, God gives you the freedom to live your life anyway you choose. So why do you blame God when it was you that messed your life up? Christ is still shaping me and will continue to do so until I am perfected with Him. He is taking the vase that I shattered and is recreating a masterpiece. If you are broken or you notice yourself breaking, then go ahead and break because the Master Potter can take those pieces and make you whole again. I may struggle, but I do not struggle alone, for the King, the Great Commander of the heavenly host, and the Lord of all is right here with me. Come to Christ, all you who are tired, weary, burdened, and are heavy laden, and He will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28).

Trust God Alone.

Christ teaches, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8 KJV). This is a promise and it is true. However, this is not a promise to those who seek to promote, advance or preserve themselves. You may say, “Well, the verse isn’t true then”. You only say that because you do not understand the context. If you are only seeking to advance yourself out of greed or for personal gain only, then God is not going to just give you what you want. An example: “Lord, let me stand on stage so I can sing praises to you”. Sounds good, but you see, you are not fooling God because He knows in your heart you only want people to hear YOU and praise YOU for the wonderful job YOU do and not God. So, do not use this verse as a “I can get my candy and not share” type of promise. NO. This promise is for the pure in heart and the humble who seek things to help others, but most of all its for those who seek God’s glory and His will alone. Yes, God will provide for you, but if you go out and say, for example, ‘Give money or our ministry will fail”, then I say fail because your trust is not in God, but in man. You don’t have to beg for money. Trust in Christ and all things needed will be given to you and yes, that includes money given by others. Be broken before the Lord and keep nothing hidden. If there is selfish gain in your heart, ask Him to remove it. Trust in the Lord your God only because Christ also teaches us, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33).

What If I did or What If I Didn’t?

What if the last time you saw someone was your last? What if in that moment there was anger between you two? I carry a few things around and words that I’ve said can not be taken back. What if the revenge I wanted caused more pain than I intended? What if? The ultimate question that many of us will never get a chance to see play out. What if I did go with my dad that morning before he crawled under that car? What if I did stay away from the young girl who stole my heart? What if I never did take all those sleeping pills or put that blade to my arm? What if I never did stalk the beautiful woman who was also searching? What if I did or what if I didn’t? What if? Think before you speak and act. I’ve heard that words are not much, but actions speak load. That is true, but remember that words do hurt and can stay in the mind or someone for decades. We bleed from inside out and we all bleed the same color, yet, we are all different. I strayed from my Lord and I payed the price. I was miserable and thoughts and behaviors began to re-surface, and I am still recovering. I did and said and typed some hurtful things and I allowed things to get to me that really shouldn’t have mattered. But, the mercy and grace of Christ was over me and He got my attention. What if? Well, let us try with everything in us to show love, no matter what we are facing and make choices based on the Fathers will…not ours. As another me once said, “We R Strong. We R 1”. A new creation through Christ Jesus my Lord, for He has brought me back from the dead.

If Your Reading This

You can own the world but be forgotten overnight. You can touch the sky, but not hearts and be lost in sight. Did you show love when they ripped at your skin? Did you know how to use your anger and when it should end? How will you be remembered when your time comes? Were you the one who refused to change for the important ones? Were you the one who was selfish and tore everyone down? Did you replicate the wrongs daily in others that you found? Or did you love to the best of your ability? Did you express your feelings out load or write them down brilliantly? Did you share your dreams and open up to those who care? Being judge and jury is a hard task that wasn’t meant for us to bare. If you are reading this it is not too late. Choose love and let it release you from the prison and activate. Its the only thing you will really leave behind. Its how you loved and your choice to not be cruel, but to be kind. I am learning to love through the pain and be angry but not sin. I have found that it is never too late for this to begin. If there is breath in your body there is still time. We were meant for love because that is by design. Choose love and not hate and be known for how you loved. Leave behind a loving memory that will bathe over others as if cascading from above.

Only He

He found me laying in a bed made of pain. He reached down and pulled me from all this shame. He allowed me to face insanity so I would call out to Him. He brought me through it and let me know that it is He that died for all sin. I stepped out in faith and the faithful one grabbed me and broke my bonds. He placed on me His yoke which is light, yet, an explosion took place like multiple nuclear bombs. I was free, but I let the world chain me up again. I cried so often, but kept it hidden and didn’t even know where to begin. Walking memories haunted me as ghost moved in from the past. Bound by what had me once again, depression sunk in with blast after blast. He came for me and found me on a dark road as rain poured. My heart in pieces and anger fueling me, He stilled me and reminded me that He is my Lord. “Forgive me Lord”, I cried out to Him with shame and guilt raging from within. He took it all and placed me on my feet, and I now give my whole heart to Him. He taught me how to take all the tough things and use the many pains. He set me free and reached down to me and broke all those chains.

Better

It won’t be long before I feel better. I’m lost in this storm, but I must face the weather. I am not dead yet and I will look at misfortune and give her a kiss. I keep in mind that this makes us because who would we be without days like this? I ask the tragedies to move out and step to the side. Here is the time the moment’s I can’t forget collide. Do I remind you of anyone or am I anyone you would want? My senses are heightened, and I hear you but all I do is taunt. I am someone you never met. All there is of me to you is a fading silhouette. Am I somewhere you wanna be where your colors come off and teach? Emotions you can’t resist seem far away and so out of reach. It won’t be long before I feel better. All I have to do is ride this storm and face the weather.

Battle’s Of War

I am the one who stands in the back of the crowd. I am the one who screams inside but outside I’m never load. Battle’s of war rage on as anger gets buried. Flames of frustration as I struggle to speak and explain this that is carried. I am one of many who will fight on and endure to the end. 3…2…1…here I come as my lungs are full of fiery wind. Rising up from a sleepless position I prepare to break free. Open my mind now and pear in to get a closer look at me. Oil and water mix as grey drowns out the sound. Red light’s blaze across the wall as shadows move all around. In comes a new dream that breaks out that I know will be tough. Can I begin again and see past this; will I ever be enough? Words are just words when actions show something different. I say hello as I now stand and begin to move like a strong torrent. Taking back my mind that is plagued both day and night. But I know I can do all things when I keep Christ in my sight.

My Exit

Embarrassed possession with my obsession, cold, looking for the way out. A witness to torture that follows me around and gives no shadow of a doubt. La, la, la, la, here I am and it’s about to rain. All I do is make noise as you seek your new way of fame. Counting backwards from ten to one I exit stage left with great haste. Automatic there is static in my mental attic as you see me as a waste. I am closed because business has been shattered. Stained windows have been busted in as I discover I never really mattered. Ding, ding, ding the bell rings out while agony cuts to the bone. Allow me now to add blues to ice as I make a change to the tone. I bleed as the seed is freed and all I need is to cultivate. The vine on my spine is far from fine but all you do is whine as down comes the gate. Finger on the trigger I was taken down as you arranged your assessment. I am not known and nothing needed by you, but blade to the throat I snatch away; I make my exit.

Busted Out

Should I offer up my hand and lay all of the guilt on my shoulders? Maybe it’ll be easier to leave while you take the place and hold her. Can I give you my eyes to see insanity from a realistic point of view? You will not stay as I left in a hurry, but those like me are so few. All of us seek to be loved and understood and pulled out of the crowd. I bare the shame I should not and I ride alone on my self-made cloud. You read this and think I have tripped and fell. Allow me to reassure you of my Savior who busted me out of my prison cell. He found me in my corner when my face was stained with tears. He came to me in the dark and drove it away and shattered all my fears. Should I offer up my hand and lay all of the guilt on my shoulders this day? No, for Christ Jesus my Lord has removed it and took all the shame and guilt away.

Smoke Through a Mirror

Abused time drags us down to a deep, early worm infested grave. Thoughts overplay as we dwell on them and become their slave. Vapor rises as it escapes out the opened window. I am he that crawls out; here today and gone tomorrow. Set off like a spark as actions are amplified and become clearer. I am observed as a monster but only dimly like smoke through a mirror. Circles of black around my eyes as the mold is destroyed so I would not last. In this place I am reminded of what I’ve done as you see me as an outcast. The door is kicked off the hinges and in walks ivory with her vile of poison in her hand. Falling into the dark void as if my dreams were built on waves of shifting quicksand. I am covered by light, but the darkness still tries, and it claws at my brain. Misunderstood as I reach to the sky and surrender to Him all of this pain. I am ripped and faded but all you see is the aftermath and the scar that is bruised. Smothered by my own disorder I am pressed against the tree as I watch the vein bleed and get misused. Holding my breath as the process of insanity takes its place on the starting line. Here I come as I planted my feet and prepared to outrun the monster this time. There’s one more hit as the monster tries with all he has to make me a casualty. Not this time you self-made monster because this time you will feel every bit of my agony. You present yourself as a monster that makes me a monster, but you are nothing more than a demon. Christ is my strength and He goes before me and this time you will be cast down, cast down, cast down deep into oblivion.